(thesouljourney) Imagination

IMAGINATION

What characterizes children more than anything else is their imaginations and their play. What characterizes adults more than anything else might be their lack of imagination and their work.

Very young children have not developed their ego nor their rational mind to any great extent. In some sense they are more in touch with their instincts and their soul, but not in a conscious way. They do, however, manifest qualities of the human and spiritual soul within – imagination and play.

The imagination plays! It explores possibilities mentally, emotionally and physically. Work, on the other hand, that is not playful simply implements the known and often just repeats the past.

Imagination is an instrument of the soul. Soul is our greatest potential, and imagination explores the endless possibilities of this potential. With imagination directed by soul consciousness, there is always an answer, always a better alternative to that which has been.

Soul always functions in the present, but is future oriented. It is creative. As a vehicle for soul expression, the imagination can take us into the future. It can form the images and feelings associated with future possibilities. And through this activity, it both draws on the creative energy from soul, as well as effectively impresses the blueprints of the new creation on the subconscious, the lower mind and the formative forces within the physical body.

It is big new age business today to write books and teach courses on getting what you want. What is most often lacking in this is a proper context – a context of greater meaning and purpose. The motivation is often self-centered – get what you want because you deserve it. Some of the tools offered are disguised ways of manipulating.
From the personality perspective, there seems nothing wrong with this. But it does have some negative consequences for anyone who is capable of more social and spiritual awareness.

Soul consciousness shows us that everything we do must not only be of positive benefit to the individual, it must also benefit the whole or others in some way.

The Soul Journey does both of these things. It gives us the tools to effectively create a better future through using the imagination, and enables us to create a future that heals and gives great benefit to all.

Exercises:
1. How does imagination work through you?

2. How can you give yourself more time to explore imagination in its many forms?

3. What ideas or ideals or images call out to you that you are not giving attention to?

(mick quinn) Relationship with Me

FEATURED ARTICLE: EXCERPTED FROM POWER AND GRACE

the relationship with me:

Because there is no separate me-sense in an animal,a dog will regularly bark at his own reflection in a mirror. He does this because hedoes not see “himself,” he sees another dog.

Imagine looking in a mirror and asking, "Who's that?" At the psychotherapeutic level, the idea of accepting and loving yourself is considered to be beneficial. If awakening is your objective, you must learn to relinquish the need to support and nurture the relationship with me. The notion of a separate self—an individual me-sense —is erroneous; yet, this is a natural development that occurs in everyone between the ages of four and seven years of age. To be gentle with oneself, however, does not necessarily imply the validity of this duality.Since the relationship with “me” is where you consciously and unconsciously communicate with conditioned limitations, discovering and expressing your full potential calls you to understand how this separate me-sense is formed; in doing so, you can gain objectivity on (and stand back from) the relationship with “me”. This is the triumphant emergence of true individuality.

evolutionary pointer: Awakening enfolds me, myself, and I into the One.

We are all familiar with the following exclamation:“I don’t like myself when I am this way.” Let’s look closely at this statement. Firstly notice there are two “I’s.” There is an “I” that sees how the second “I” is feeling or acting. The first “I” has objectivity on the second “I”. The next time you hear this, ask yourself, which one am I? Are you the “I” who sees with clarity the second “I,” or are you the “I” who is feeling, responding or acting?

If you are the “I” who is acting, then who are you when those events or situations pass? You are surely more than a litany of ever-changing reactions to life. If you are the “I” that has objectivity, then when those emotions or behaviors pass, are you still not the same unchanged observer who was witnessing these emotions and behaviors all along?

A statement such as: “I am not myself today,” surely gives cause us to wonder, how do the “I” and the “myself” differ? And if indeed they are different, who is telling the difference? Also, If “I” am not “myself” then who am “I” until “I” am “myself” again?

Other ways in which you sustain the relationship with “me” is with questions such as: “What’s in this for me?” “How can I maximize my position?” or “How is this going to affect me?” Though they seem innocuous, these questions are the little-self alienating you from trust by stimulating the internal dialogue between you and “yourself”. Such questions support the illusion of a separate sense of self.

Supporting the relationship with “me” requires that you be “in touch with yourself.” While a certain level of self-concern is normal, frequently a significant portion of your attention is diverted into monitoring your thoughts and feelings about yourself. This inward concern reflects conditioning nursing itself. Sometimes, all your attention can be redirected inward, triggering the response from another person, “Is there something wrong?” When you are consumed by relentless ego-sponsored introspection, life direction disabilities can result. Can you see why? It is not that good intentions are absent, or that you are unable to focus or make up your mind, it is that all of your energy and awareness is being consumed in support of the relationship with “me”.

the formation of the separate me-sense: When young children cover their eyes and play “hide and seek,” they think you can’t see them. Because young children are unable to think about themselves, their view of the world is the only worldview.

evolutionary pointer: Up to the age of four, there is still no true sense of a separate self at the level of the child’s thoughts. When they look in a mirror they still see another baby, not “themselves” (remember the dog barking at itself).

Starting around the age of four, natural cognitive development moves children from an unconscious present to the point where they can grasp the idea of the past and the future. It is now that the notion of a separate sense of self (in thought) begins to appear. This is why (prior to this) young children are very much at home in the present. Without an image of “me” in a past or a future, living in the moment comes quite naturally. Since a child does not yet have a concept of the future with a “me” in that future, there is nothing to worry about; without a concept of the past and a “me” in that past, there is nothing to regret.

Then at age 4-5-6 a child locates an image of “me” in his concept of the past and projects the image of “me” into his concept of the future*. A child learns to imagine, anticipate and worry. He thinks there are “monsters in the wardrobe” (which is later discovered to be untrue—a great metaphor for awakening to fear of “change”!)
the highest part of you goes astray: As a child begins to grow into his family and social environment, conditioning solidifies this newly formed separate sense of self. The highest part of each one of us - consciousness - gets lost in a concept of “me” that now appears simultaneously in the past, present, and future.

To make matters worse, parents and culture convince you that “your” fears and desires for the future are exclusive and primary. You make them personal. You are also led to believe that the feelings you have about yourself and events from your past are unique. The point here is certainly not to deny the fullest possible emotional experience, but to open us up to the question of our sometimes-exclusive identity with those feelings. As you mature, this self-image begins to drive your thoughts about “my” past, “my” future, “my” fears, “my” desires, and so on. Conditioning thus crafts your unique “individuality.”

evolutionary pointer: Even with the wonderful diversity in this world, your sense of uniqueness can often be nothing more than “my way” of expressing the ego: your personal articulation of impersonal conditioning; my individual face of the global ego.

As you continue in your development, you (unconsciously) craft relationships to sustain this internal image or me-sense. Depending on the forcefulness of conditioning, “your life” can become an endless effort to maintain, protect, and project this self-image. In high school, for example, if you think you are slick and hip, then that is the crew you will run with; if you think the whole world is against you, you may have friends who think the same way. You learn to manipulate the world around you to match the image you have of your “self”. People who have ambitions to be materially successful will surround themselves—consciously and unconsciously—with those who can affirm and support such internal images. Those who see themselves as “giving” or “caring” often have many friends who are “needy” and “victimized” and vice versa. If your family revered suicide bombers you might take your last bus ride at sixteen. The problem is that most people never grow out of this illusion.Many people unknowingly craft and sustain relevant relationships in this way their entire lives, all based on the idea of “me”, that appeared (as a concept) when they were four! Awakening clearly reveals how most of humanity is lost in these semi-conscious and unconscious roles of the lesser-self. The end of emotional and psychological suffering compels us to identify where we are wholly or partially identified with conditioning, and by accepting ownership of those corresponding emotions, both negative and positive, we can free of them, onceand for all.

evolutionary pointer: Your relevant relationships are an outer representation of the point of focus within. Conflict without is a mirror of conflict within.

*For more see the work of Dr. Margaret Mahler

(beingthere5) How 2 shop 4 a Counseller ?

A Short Course in Personal Growth 5. How to Shop for a Counselor
by
Stephen BE

If we do not know any counselors in your area (and chances are we do not), we would be unable to make a recommendation for one who is practicing Consciousness Counseling™. You would need to shop for a counselor who can do what you, as someone in pursuit of Higher Consciousness, would hope for. In the big picture, this would be someone who can help you learn, and constantly update, the emotional skills needed to integrate the lessons of consciousness.

Shopping for a counselor should be a deliberate process. Do not be impulsive. The desire to find someone quickly might make you subject to superficial charm. Nor should you worry about making a poor decision. Since you are not committed to any length of time, you can terminate services of a counselor that does not measure up. You are looking for someone with whom you can develop a unique and professional relationship. While this relationship might not be permanent, you should consider it a long-term and committed relationship. You want to enter it very deliberately, as well as exit it deliberately in the future.

A counselor does not have any real control over you. They have considerable influence in how you regard important decisions in your life, but they cannot make you do anything by force. You will always have choices about how you go about your life, unless you surrender this choice. Never surrender your responsibility for your choices, whether choosing a counselor, continuing the services of a counselor or terminating the service. A counselor who asks you to follow blindly is not serving your best interests, and you should exit their service. One who tells you how to behave is not teaching you how to claim self-responsibility, the core issue in all emotional work.

On the other hand, a good counselor will ask you to be deliberate and responsible for your choices. This means he or she may question and challenge how you are making choices. This can even appear confrontational or controlling. As long as he or she is working for you to claim self-responsibility, their challenge does not need to imply they want to control you. You are the one who must live with the consequences of your choices. If you cannot embrace the consequences of a choice as part of your path, then you have not made a responsible choice.

There are several steps you can begin with, to shop for a counselor. First, ask friends who have been in counseling for their recommendations, either in favor of someone or in warning against someone. Ask specific questions about why they feel the way they do. Anyone who has been in counseling long enough to work through an issue or two should be able to articulate their perspective. Look for high recommendations, or multiple favorable recommendations. A lukewarm recommendation is probably not someone who will serve you well.

Second, ask other resources for their recommendations about counselors. Family members are not usually the best resource for this information. You may ask family members for their recommendations, but often, family members may be serving their own agenda that is aroused by your questions. Any one of your doctors might know of a counselor whom they have heard does exceptional work with other patients of theirs. Occasionally, you might even get a first-hand report from a doctor about a counselor’s expertise. You may have a religious leader, spiritual guide, teacher, coach, or respected colleague that you can ask for assistance. Again, ask why they feel the way they do.

Third, you can shop for a counselor in much the same way as you would shop for a car or a house. The difference is that a good counselor will enable you to change everything in your life for the better (i.e. to be more aligned with your Personal Truth), and the results can last a lifetime. Look in the phone book and check the internet for counselors in your area. A counseling website may provide all the information you need to be able to exclude someone, but it should never be enough to make a conclusion.

A phone book ad does even less to inform you about a counselor, but at least you can get an idea of who is available in your area. You will find counselors listed in any of several headings, according to their discipline: Counselors (areas with numerous counselors will have this broken into specialties, such as Marriage, Individual, Children, Families, Religious, Substance Abuse, Crisis Intervention, Domestic Violence, etc.), Mental Health, Psychologists, Psychotherapists and Medical Doctors – Psychiatrists.

Counseling agencies often have counselors from a variety of disciplines, including any of those listed above, plus Social Workers, Clergy and Lay Counselors. You do not need to automatically exclude an agency, but do not let an agency assign you to the counselor of their choosing. You need to screen every potential counselor individually, even if they work within a large organization. This is your most important choice in the counseling process, and it should not be surrendered to anyone else.

In a previous article, 4. How Counseling Helps Develop Consciousness, we described the variety of backgrounds from which counselors may be trained. You may find a competent counselor in any of these disciplines. Even though each discipline has a tendency to treat in certain ways, there are individuals within each discipline who are cutting their own path. These are the counselors who will be most helpful. You do not need to settle for mediocrity, nor should you.
You should always interview a counselor before making a decision about using their services. Some counselors will offer a limited amount of time for a free interview, something like 15 to 30 minutes. But even if you must buy an hour of time from the counselor in order to interview them thoroughly, it will be worth it. Do not commit to working with any unknown counselor until after you have satisfied your questions about his or her practice.

Interview as many as it takes for you to find someone with whom you are willing to do your inner work. If your first choice, or any subsequent choice does not unfold as you would hope, confront this disappointment in therapy with your counselor before deciding to move to another counselor. Sometimes you must train a counselor to your expectations, but once informed, will rise to meet them. If the answers are unsatisfying, then look for another counselor. Sometimes the client is more sophisticated in the pursuit of Higher Consciousness than is the counselor, and no amount of disclosure from you can bridge this gap.

A counselor does not need to be working on Higher Consciousness in order to be helpful to you. If he or she is able to teach you about emotions; how to access them, how to clarify them, how to embrace them, how to use them effectively; this may be enough to begin your work on the emotional aspect. A counselor should show evidence in their own life of the ability to put their knowledge into use. A counselor who goes through multiple divorces, for example, probably is not one to teach about healthy relationships. Look for consistency between what they teach and how they conduct their life. Knowledge without skill is not very useful.

Once you decide with whom you will work, then commit to a minimum number of sessions, 10 for example. As the relationship grows between you and your counselor, you can extend your internal commitment to whatever length feels appropriate, even if it is indefinite. This allows you to measure this relationship in stages, rather than all at once. It is for your purpose only. Few counselors will demand a time commitment up front. When to terminate therapy is the subject of another discussion, and beyond the scope of this presentation.

There is one final prerequisite for effective counseling. To get the most from your inner work, you must commit to a clean and sober lifestyle. Daily or frequent use of alcohol or drugs will always interfere in your progress. And if you are addicted to this pattern, it will prevent any progress. The world is a very different place when you are sober, than when you are under the influence of a toxic substance. You see differently. You feel differently. And you behave differently. Consciousness built upon addiction is not true growth.

A good counselor will ask you about your alcohol and drug usage, have you examine it for its current truthfulness, and lead you to claim responsibility for what you truthfully want in your life. If you are addicted, then substance abuse treatment must precede consciousness work. We demanded a track record of this commitment before beginning consciousness work. The Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) adage of “ninety-in-ninety” helped to establish this track record. This meant ninety AA meetings in ninety days. Your counselor will help you look at the need for treatment and the options available to you.

We want to offer you these suggestions for questioning prospective counselors. These are the questions we would ask if we were interviewing a prospective counselor. These are also the questions, that when we were asked, usually indicated the presence of a very sincere and knowledgeable client. Our replies are also given in parentheses, to provide a baseline for measuring the answers of others.

Interview Questions:
1. What is your personal opinion about the purpose of counseling?
(To learn how to use emotions to access, update and claim Personal Truth, and to use this knowledge to make changes in your life that reflect this truth.)

2. What is your theoretical perspective about counseling?
(Humanistic: all issues have divine purpose and are present for personal growth into Higher Consciousness.)

3. Who do you believe needs counseling?
(Everyone who has never had any emotional training; this includes nearly everyone.)

4. What is your goal in counseling?
(We hope that you will learn how to use your emotions to connect to your Personal Truth, how to explore, update and claim your Personal Truth, how to enact your Personal Truth in the infinite choices you make in your life, and through the results of living in accordance to your Personal Truth, begin to realize the purpose of your life.)

5. Have you written any books or articles about counseling? Where could I obtain them?
(Note: Read anything they have written for greater clarity. If they have not written, ask why not? But do not make this an absolute prerequisite. Not all counselors are writers, and should not be expected to be so when they are not. But often a counselor has not written because they do not feel they have anything worthy to say. This would probably not be your best choice.)

6. How do you regard emotions in general?
(Emotions are an essential aspect of who we are, in the same vein as our other aspects of being: the physical, mental, and spiritual aspects; They are created mostly in our unconscious according to how we were imprinted in life, and every emotion gives us access to our Personal Truth.)

7. Do you believe emotions are a product of how we think, that “by thinking positive, we will create positive emotions”?
(Thinking is thinking, feeling is feeling. They are different, and they require different skills.)

8. Do you believe some emotions are bad, and need to be eliminated or reduced?
(All emotions have the potential of opening up more of our Personal Truth. Counseling, largely, is learning how to embrace and use those emotions that we regard as negative.)

9. What methods of counseling do you use?
(Psychodynamic and psychoeducational. We will talk. I will ask you questions about your experiences. You will struggle with describing your experience in meaningful ways, and I will guide you to uncover what you cannot yet see. Over time, you will begin to see your patterns of emotion and behavior, called psychodynamics, or dynamics for short. Eventually, you will recognize when these dynamics are rising up in reaction to certain events or experiences. Through this insight you will know what drives you. This allows you the opportunity to test it for its current veracity. You will update it according to your greater truth. When you enact this new dynamic consistently in the future, you will see your life reflecting your changes. In this way, you come to know yourself and make deliberate changes in who you are.)

10. How do you conduct a counseling session? Variations: Who talks? Do you want me to do all the talking? Do you teach things during counseling? What do you teach?
(See our response in #9, above.)

11. Do you adhere strictly to time limits?
(We can schedule any amount of time you wish. You will be charged for the amount of time scheduled, unless the session goes longer, then you will be charged for the amount of time actually used in session. Fees are based on an hourly rate of $130/hour, and totaled by tenths of an hour. For example, 1.5 hours would cost $195. This fee is for you as a single, or as a couple. The time you schedule is yours. If you schedule an hour from 1:00 PM to 2:00 PM, then you will get 60 minutes of time. If you need more time, your need will be considered along with the needs of the next client. Sometimes, we will be able to continue longer. Sometimes we will not.) Note: This is not the standard of practice. Many counselors work on a fifty-minute hour, and call an end to the session when that time expires.

12. How do you regard our relationship?
(We will be unequal partners in the mutual goal of your personal growth. I will engage fully with you, employing all of my education, training, skills, and collective experience. I will ask you to be fully willing to feel all that you feel and to deal with all that you feel. When I see you being less than fully willing, this will become the most present issue, and I will focus there. As long as you are feeling and dealing, we will go into every pertinent experience together, constantly looking for your greater truth and how to enact it in your life. Since we will be entirely focused on your issues, this creates an inherent imbalance in the vulnerability each of us experiences and exhibits. I will always honor and respect this inherent inequality.)

13. Do you prescribe medications?
(We are not medical doctors, and therefore we cannot prescribe medications. If we believe that medications would be beneficial to the progress of treatment, we refer the client to a physician who can evaluate and prescribe appropriate medication.)

14. How do you know when medications are necessary?
(We believe that medications are helpful and necessary for some people. It is through decades of experience in a variety of in-patient and outpatient facilities that we have learned when pronounced symptoms require medical intervention. We do everything possible to: 1. Respect the wishes of the client in regard to medications; 2. Avoid the use of medications unless absolutely necessary; 3. Refer a client to either the physician of their choosing or one whom we have developed a working relationship; and 4. Consult with the physician throughout the period of treatment. Our goal is always to help you embrace your experience, deal with the issues present, and learn the lessons embedded within. If medications can help this process, then they are seen as a useful tool. If they interfere in this process, then we will work with the prescribing physician toward a reduction or termination of pharmaceutical treatment.)

15. [If seeking a counselor for relationship issues] What is your perspective about marriage?

(Marriage is a [divine or perfect] vehicle for encountering your personal issues. The quality of the marriage is determined by how successful it is in helping you deal with those issues. We will explain the universal stages of romantic relationships, and teach you and your partner the skills to work with all marital issues. We will look at the hottest issues you face, and help both of you learn, grow and make conscious choices. It is not our highest goal to try to keep the relationship together regardless of cost to Personal Truth. A compromised relationship will serve no one, especially your children. We will help both of you uncover, update and enact your Personal Truth, and then help each of you to apply your truth to your relationship.)

16. Do you follow a specific theory about relationships?
(Yes. Harville Hendrix is the author of many books about Imago Relationship Therapy. We always recommend that couples read these books. The understanding of how relationships develop is useful when you are confronting the issues that arise in each stage of development.)

17. Do you use religious teachings to guide your advice?
(No. Religion is a personal choice. It is only one way in which humans express their spirituality. Spirituality is a fundamental part of being human, and we will address issues on this aspect as they arise.)

18. How much do you charge? Note: This varies widely according to location. It can be as high as $350/hour in major cities, or as low as $25-$30/hour in rural agencies. The local market establishes the rates.
(We charge $130/hour, prorated for tenths of an hour, for scheduled therapy. Our emergency rates and rates for other services vary. You will receive a complete list of rates when you register for service.)

19. Can you bill my insurance, or do you require payment at time of service? Note: many counseling offices will bill your insurance company on your behalf. If your company fails to pay, you would still be held liable for payment.
(We require payment at the time of service. We provide you with the paperwork needed to claim reimbursement from your insurance company. In this way, we alleviate the need for extensive office staff, and the subsequent rate hike.)
20. Do you offer any discounts or payment plans? Note: Many counseling offices will adjust their rates according to your income level. This is called a sliding-scale fee. Some offices will allow you to pay a set amount each month, regardless of the charges you incur. This allows you to defer payment, but not defer ultimate responsibility.
(No. Besides cash or check, we accept most credit cards for payment, allowing you to personally manage your credit and cash flow.)

21. How far ahead are you scheduling appointments?
(We can usually see you within two weeks, sometimes sooner. If it is an emergency, we can see you within two days, outside of normal office hours. There is a higher rate for emergency time, but if it is necessary, then we will find a way to see you.)

22. How can I get started?
(We can set an appointment for our first meeting. You will need to come in half-an-hour prior to that appointment to complete the necessary registrations forms and personal history. During our first session, we will get an idea of what you want and how to best serve you. Subsequent appointments will be set then.)

©2005 BEing There Enlightenment Systems, Inc.

(beingthere) how counseling helps consciousness

4. How Counseling Helps Develop Consciousness
by
Stephen BE

Unless you learned them as a child, counseling is the only place we know of where you can acquire the emotional skills needed to effectively deal with the infinite issues in life, and to actively pursue Higher Consciousness. BEing There Enlightenment Systems advocates counseling for everyone.

What is Counseling?

"Counseling", also known as psychotherapy, is the process of learning about yourself, and then using this information to make changes in your life. This is usually a process of directed conversation. The therapist pokes around specific areas of your life looking for signs of pain or disharmony, much like a doctor might poke around your body to find clues of pain or discomfort that point to a source. The therapist can be trained and licensed in any one of a number of different disciplines, including counseling, psychology, social work, psychiatry, religion or nursing.

Counseling consists of a process of exploring situations and their associated emotions. Therefore, counseling clients must first learn how to allow their emotions and how to explore them. This effort brings you a new sense of self-understanding. With this new insight and awareness, you are better prepared to make choices in your behavior that will lead to the consequences you seek.
The counselor serves as a guide for your self-discovery, teaching new emotional skills along the way. With self-discovery, greater insight, new emotional skills, and clearer choices, you will be able to claim a new level of self-responsibility. This results in a resolution to the situation that first prompted counseling, a resolution that is more complex than might have been expected. In addition, you experience a more profound sense of self. This is called personal growth.
An interesting thing occurs when you first experience your ability to grow. Like a child first discovering the benefits of walking, you will be eager to use and perfect the emotional skills you have learned by expanding your discovery into other areas of your life. By identifying common patterns of emotion and behavior, called dynamics, you learn to recognize the issues that underlie all problem situations. You will develop the ability to deal more directly with your issues, instead of having to focus on the problem situations that reflect those issues. This has a widespread effect throughout your life.

Knowing, recognizing, and dealing directly with issues is a more sophisticated level of self-awareness. This allows you to be more effective in all of your relationships and pursuits. It is through this process that you can begin to understand your lessons, which are necessary to develop a new level of consciousness. This, in turn, gives you the skills to deliberately create what you truly want.

The skills you learn in counseling are emotional skills. These are skills that everyone needs to know, but probably does not know. Different levels of emotional skill determine your level of consciousness, when your emotional aspect is the aspect of least development. You can find a short description of the various levels at "1. Why Learn Emotional Skills?"

The only way to learn these skills is from someone who knows them. A counselor should know these emotional skills and therefore be able to teach them to you. Not all counselors do. As you begin to master these skills you will be able to pass them on to your children. As it takes emotionally healthy parents to raise emotionally healthy children, the only way to inject emotional health in the familial linkage is for one link in the family chain to learn the skills of emotional health.

Situations, emotions, emotional skills, self-responsibility, personal growth, dynamics, issues and lessons, lead to new levels of consciousness and significantly greater effectiveness in your life. This entire process is called the pursuit of Higher Consciousness.

Who Needs Counseling?

Counseling is the only venue available to most people where you receive emotional training. If you have never received training about your emotions, then you will benefit greatly from counseling.

People often use counseling to resolve marital and relationship problems, to become better parents, to deal with occupation-related issues, or to clarify what it is they truly want in life. Having been raised with physical, mental, emotional or spiritual abuse always affects adult life in undesirable ways and calls for counseling. Specific behaviors or moods that concern you, or others around you, should be examined in therapy. And major events in life draw forth strong emotions that need to be understood for peace of mind and heart. These are just some of the reasons people need counseling.

The "need" for counseling is not defined by the degree of drama in the situations in your life. It is not about you being inadequate to deal with those situations. It certainly does not mean you are weak.

"Needing" counseling is about acknowledging that life requires constant change, and changing requires learning new skills. The difficult situations in your life are merely the notice that change is due. And counseling is where you go to make that change.

How Long Does Counseling Take?

Since everyone's problems are unique, along with the skills they bring into therapy with them, the sophistication of their self-awareness, and the attempts already made to resolve their conflict, a prediction for how long it will take to adequately deal with your issues cannot be made until these factors are considered.

The most significant factor will be the depth of commitment you have to your personal growth. If your only desire is to resolve an immediate crisis, then a few hours of counseling should suffice. If you are inclined to search more deeply for the causes of certain experiences, so you can prevent them from recurring, then you will need to invest more time. To be able to define your core issues and plumb their depth, so you can experience complete self-awareness in every moment, will require a long-term relationship, first with your counselor, then with a consciousness guide or mentor.

These decisions are part of the counseling process. Emotional education can be equated to mental education in this regard. You decide how much you want to know about yourself, and how broadly you want to apply this self-awareness. More education means greater skill to define what you want and greater ability to create what you want.

A relationship will develop between you and your therapist that will be very significant. To begin to make this relationship pay off for you, you must be willing to allow it the time and effort it needs to work. This is not a relationship where the therapist whisks into the room, diagnoses the problem, and prescribes a remedy. A therapeutic relationship must develop and mature. It requires regular contact. Like any important relationship, this will require periodic re-commitment.

Where to Start?

Learn more about using counseling to assist your growth into Higher Consciousness by reading "How to Shop for a Counselor," coming in the next installment of this Short Course in Personal Growth.

©2005, 2001 BEing There Enlightenment Systems, Inc.

(beingthere) What is enlightenment ?

What Is Enlightenment?

by

Stephen BE


As a short answer, Enlightenment is a level of consciousness from which you are deliberately creating your world. Enlightenment is the highest level of consciousness. This correctly implies that there are lesser levels of consciousness, and it is from these that we can only extrapolate the experience of Enlightenment.

Enlightenment is the name of the highest level of consciousness. It is a level where you have the highest skills in all four aspects, and as such, there is no distinction between aspects. There is no separation between physical experience and spiritual experience, or mental experience and emotional experience. All experiences are known collectively as enlightened consciousness.

Enlightenment can only be referred to in terms of other levels of consciousness, as it is impossible to accurately describe it until it is experienced, and it is equally impossible to accurately understand it from a lower level of consciousness. Our understanding is limited by our present level of consciousness. What can be identified and understood from a lower level of consciousness as Enlightenment, is only its distant, hazy image.

The pursuit of Higher Consciousness is like a path, that requires specific skills, has identifiable milestones and points the way ahead. What any of us knows of Enlightenment is what we can see from where we are on the path. We know what it has taken to walk this far. We imagine what will be required ahead. And our description of the view is definitely limited.

Even though our understanding is limited by our present level of consciousness, many of us hear the calling of Enlightenment. As we walk the path of Higher Consciousness, we can make sense of the process, identify the experiences of various levels, acquire greater understanding of the "big picture", begin to create short-lived experiences of that reality and hear the calling with ever-increasing certainty.

Enlightenment is the birthright of every individual. It is not some magical, mystical experience reserved for the very few. It is what we are here to do, whether we know it or not. Life is for learning; learning the lessons that bring us, step-by-step, into the realization of Enlightenment. It is where we came from. And it is where we must return. Our job is to clear away the barriers to what was once ours, and is yet to be again. It is the grand purpose of life, to which everything else is a stepping-stone.

How long will it take? Like Kwai Chang Caine's master said to him, when he asked the question in the 1970's television show, Kung Fu, "It may take a lifetime, maybe longer."



 

(being there) Higher Consciousness & 4 stages of dev

2. What Is Higher Consciousness?
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by
Stephen BE
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Consciousness is the way in which we experience the world. We have the ability to develop our consciousness, its level is not fixed. There are three levels of lower consciousness and four levels of Higher Consciousness, the greatest being Enlightenment. Your level of consciousness is determined by the skill levels of the four aspects of your BEing: physical, mental, emotional and spiritual. All four aspects of BEing are equally important, and skills must be progressed on all four aspects.

Even though most individuals are very skilled on one or two of their aspects, it is the skill level that is common to all four aspects that determines their level of consciousness. The limiting aspect will always be the aspect of least development.

For most people, the aspect of least development is their emotional aspect. Therefore, it is the determining factor in their level of consciousness. This is true simply because very few people ever receive training in their emotional aspect. Physical training and mental training are abundant in the western societies. Spiritual training is acknowledged and addressed, even if it is insufficient. The emotional aspect is largely ignored, leaving most people untrained.

When you learn and practice emotional skills, you grow in consciousness. Growth will continue up to the aspect with the next lowest skill level. Then the skills of that aspect must be addressed. Higher levels of consciousness are available to everyone who learns and practices the skills of higher levels; regardless of education, economics, race, religion, gender, or gross measures of ability on any of the aspects.

Lower levels of consciousness create a world dominated by matters of security, sensation, and power. These levels are driven by the emotional skill of denial, with the purpose of survival.
Higher levels of consciousness create a world where you begin to experience intimacy, unity, union and enlightenment. If you want to experience intimacy, you must learn and practice the skills of that level of consciousness. You create the world you live in by the level of consciousness you practice. As Vaclav Havel, the Czech poet, patriot and president, eloquently said,
"Consciousness precedes BEing."

Enlightenment is the name of the highest level of consciousness. It is a level where you have the highest skills in all four aspects, and as such, there is no distinction between aspects. There is no separation between physical experience and spiritual experience, or mental experience and emotional experience. All experiences are known collectively as enlightened consciousness.
The pursuit of Enlightenment is a process of remaining connected to, and accountable to, your Personal Truth. In other words, Enlightenment is achieved by BEing in the process of truth: BEing There. These are learned skills. They are not self-evident, nor intuitive. You must learn how to BE in Truth.

You may or may not know Enlightenment in this lifetime. But the pursuit keeps you learning the lessons of consciousness. The serendipitous experience will be the wisdom and clarity that comes from higher levels of consciousness. As you pursue Enlightenment, you have the skill and power to create what you truly want, up to your level of consciousness.

BEing There Enlightenment Systems helps you learn the skills of consciousness. This begins where it must for each individual; usually on the emotional aspect. If you are ready to begin learning the skills of consciousness, we suggest you read the book, Feeling Your Way Along. BEing There is ready to help you on your journey.

what ya do withya emotions ? (beingthere.net)

1. Why Learn Emotional Skills?
by

Stephen BE

Your emotions are absolutely, 100 percent of the time, spontaneous. You are never in control of what you feel in the moment, and you never have been, no matter how many "positive thinking" seminars you have been to.

(The foundation for such a bold statement can be found in the book, Feeling Your Way Along. There, you will learn how emotions are trained into you, where they reside, how they get triggered and why they are so important to living effectively.)

You are in control of what you do with your emotions. This is your behavior. But by the time you are considering your choices in behavior, you have already felt your emotions.

You can also control your awareness of your emotions. With consistent choices to not be aware of your emotions, you probably won't be. Your unawareness will not change the emotion, however. It only makes it less possible for you to use your emotion effectively.

Using your emotions effectively, or not, is the only choice you have about your emotion. You cannot choose what you feel. You cannot control your emotions. You cannot decide to feel certain emotions, and not feel others. You can decide to be aware of your emotions. And you can decide how to behave in respect to every emotion.

Your behavior always has consequences. These consequences of your behavior are what you experience next in your world. In a very real sense, you create the world you experience through the choices you make in your behavior. Learning to choose your behavior consciously is the mark of using your emotions effectively. The distinction between emotion and behavior is the first emotional skill that everyone must learn.

You must learn to use your emotions effectively in order to create the world you truly want. This requires that you claim full responsibility for your emotions. Claiming your emotions allows you to make all of your emotions acceptable, even those that you do not like or do not want to feel.

As you learn to make your emotions work for you, you are learning to claim responsibility for those emotions. Self-responsibility is a skill that must be learned and practiced over a lifetime. It is not a measure of one's character, where you either have it or you do not. Self-responsibility is the central lesson to your emotional growth.

You are not born with inherent knowledge of how to use your emotions effectively. Emotional skills must be learned and practiced. As you gain confidence in your emotional skills, you will open up new levels of experience found at higher levels of consciousness. Some of these experiences are desired, and are the reward for your growth. Others are encountered as a deeper level of previous lessons.

Levels of Emotional Health

Below are some of the levels of emotional health, along with the skills and abilities at each level, the costs involved, and the length of time generally needed to achieve them. Of course these are only sketches, not complete descriptions.

The examples of cost are based on a counseling rate of $120/hour. Hourly rates vary greatly from country to country and city to city. In the United States, the hourly rate can be up to $250-$350/hour or more in New York, Los Angeles, Chicago or Miami. Rates in rural areas can be as low as $25-$35/hour. Rates are established in the local market according to the professional credentials of the counselor and their specific areas of expertise.

Emotional Level 1:

This person challenges anyone who asks them to look at himself/herself. They frantically shore up their defenses. They ignore necessary change as long as they can live without doing so. They are able to claim less than 10% of their self-responsibility. They deny the existence of denial. They show reactionary resistance. In relationships, they are limited to the attraction stage. They often are volatile, angry, possessive and controlling. They rarely seek more than 1-5 sessions of counseling, usually at the insistence of a significant other or the mandate of a court. Their cost for this limited counseling is from $120 to $600, about what it would cost to buy a set of skis, an average car repair, an average car payment, or a weekend trip for one.

Emotional Level 2:

This person is often too scared to even begin to look at himself or herself. They fear most being blamed. They resist change. They may dabble in periodic therapy. But they never get far enough to begin to see the picture of their issues. They have no awareness of their denial, and they are passively resistant. They may claim between 20-25% of their self-responsibility. Their relationships are often co-dependent and limited at the romance stage. If not in a committed relationship, they fall deeply in love several times a year. They may attend 5-10 counseling sessions, costing $600-$1200. This is equivalent to 1 average house payment, a weekend trip for two, or a major home appliance.

Emotional Level 3:

This is the level most com
monly seen as beginners in counseling. This person does not understand (often they do not want to understand) what they are responsible for. Consequently they can claim only 30-40% of their self-responsibility. They are ambivalent about necessary changes. Their story is full of complaints and problems, for which they want solutions. Pain reduction is their primary motivation. They have little understanding of issues. They blame much of their experience on others. They justify their denial. Their relationships are often stuck in the power struggle stage. Committed relationships lead to much blaming and unhappiness. People who stop therapy in this stage often have attended 10-20 sessions. This would cost them $1200-$2400, equivalent to a new bathtub or a one week trip for two.

Emotional Level 4:

By this level of emotional health a person is able to understand the areas for which they are responsible, but they have not yet accepted or claimed all of their responsibility; perhaps 50%-60%. They still struggle with allowing change to occur. They can understand the concept of their issues, but they still avoid them when possible. They are attracted to the benefits of Higher Consciousness, but they are ambivalent about the actual work. They rationalize their avoidance, and they realize denial is an unreliable skill. They still blame others occasionally. They are working on relationships of intimacy. They are able to do some issues work, but frequently get stuck. It usually takes 30-50 sessions to get here, costing between $3600 and $6000, equivalent to the average legal fees for a simple divorce or a small home remodel job.

Emotional Level 5:

By the time someone reaches this level they realize that all their work to this point has been to teach them how to deal internally with everything they feel emotionally. They accept their issues, and they are learning to even embrace their issues. They purposely seek out their issues and know how to use them to update and claim their Personal Truth. Denial is an unacceptable skill to them, except when survival is truly threatened. They are actively looking for areas and limits of self-responsibility. This reflects a self-responsibility level of 75%-80%. They flow easily with change. Their relationships are ones of unity. They are starting to realize their connection to all people and all things. This level requires an average of 60-150 sessions, which would cost $7200 to $18,000, equating to the average cost of 1-2 years of college, an average automobile, or a down payment on an average pick-up truck.

Emotional Levels 6 & 7:

These levels require a full commitment toward continuous growth, and exceed the scope of this presentation. For more information about emotions, emotional skills, and how they affect your level of consciousness, you can read the book, Feeling Your Way Along.

(beingthere) Personal Growth intro

Preface
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Like all short courses, the Short Course in Personal Growth is not intended to teach you the skills you will need to pursue Higher Consciousness and Enlightenment. A short course is an overview. It provides a roadmap for how you will get there, using the right skills to get to the right destination.

The pursuit of Higher Consciousness requires training. It is not a "natural inclination" or "follow your gut" process. Nor can you merely read a book, or this short course, and expect to know how to pursue it. The most that reading can do, is to describe what you need to learn and what to expect along the way. Each individual still must learn the skills, do the work and integrate the lessons.

At BEing There Enlightenment Systems, we do our best to show you what's up ahead, to teach you the skills you need to learn and to help you deal with what you encounter along the way, knowing all the while that it is your journey. We teach and guide and support. You do the work of learning and dealing and changing.

The pursuit of Higher Consciousness and Enlightenment is not some mystical endeavor. It requires learning skills and applying them appropriately in your life. As you do, you will learn lessons that everyone must eventually learn. This takes time, a lot of time, as much as ten to twenty years of dedicated seeking under the guidance of a good teacher. If you are serious about your personal growth, you will settle in for the long run, rather than look for the easy answer or magical encounter.

BEingThere.net does not offer quick-and-easy anything: not quick intimacy with your partner; not new-found wealth in a year; not instant Enlightenment; not relief from your pain and misery. People who do offer these things are taking advantage of a natural inclination to wish for the easy answer. What we do offer, is an understanding of what you are here for, skills to undertake the work proficiently, on-going personal support when doubt sets in, and most of all, a profound connection with the Truth that rings within you. Life is about learning. We teach you how, and support you in your work. We're here for your life.

We offer these short courses to introduce the concepts for making the journey of a lifetime. We hope you will follow-up by reading our books and becoming a lifelong member of the international community of fellow seekers that make up this forum, www.BEingThere.net. But if you never get anything other than this free introduction, we consider it a seed planted that will eventually germinate and grow.

(beingthere) Personal growth preface

Personal growth is the lifetime journey of discovering the answers to the major questions in life. These are philosophical questions, that cease being merely philosophical when the answers apply directly to your own life.

Who am I?
What is the meaning of life?
Who am I in the big picture?
What is really important to me?
How much of my life can I control?
What makes me do the things I do?
How will I face my inevitable death?
How do I know what is true for me?
What am I supposed to be doing with my life?
How do I deal with internal experiences, like emotions?
How should I redirect my life to be consistent with my truth?
How do I make choices about the other people that are part of my life?

These are just some of the questions that everyone who ponders the meaning of life must eventually consider. The urge to ponder these questions comes to people at different times. It's like coming out of a fog, and feeling the need to determine where you are and where you are heading. We refer to this moment as awakening.

Of course, some people have not yet come out of the fog, and these questions will seem like a silly child's game. Others may hear the calling to consider these questions, decide they would rather remain simple and unfettered by such responsibility, and pretend they are still fog-bound. They hope by hiding their awareness in the fog, they can postpone the inevitable journey, or better yet, avoid it altogether.

However, no one gets a free pass in life. Everyone must eventually figure out what they are here for, and how to best go about accomplishing it. A life in a fog requires a progression of denial, increasing the amount of denial to achieve the same level of unawareness. And, since the tools of denial are self-destructive, the natural outcome for everyone is they either get the message and come out of the fog, or they suffer the results of such self-destruction.

Personal growth is not really an option. You either grow or you die, just like everything else in nature. There is no in-between, where life is static. Growth is the natural state of being, for all living things. Nothing stays as it is. Yet, humans try, sometimes diligently, to not have to grow and change.

The only real choice is whether you get your lessons for growth in relatively easy bits and experiences, or if you will require that your lessons be delivered to you in a way that you will not be able to refuse, in a large, dramatic, life-changing situation, which we often call a crisis. You will be confronted with the questions of life and growth, one way or another, or you will die from the instruments of denial. It is the first law of nature.

This forum, these books and courses, indeed the whole reason for being for the company of BEing There Enlightenment Systems, Inc. is to assist individuals who deliberately work on their personal growth. From the initial wake-up call that leads to their awakening, to learning how to deal with individual issues, to making your life right with your Personal Truth, all the way through the pursuit of Higher Consciousness and seeking Enlightenment, it is all one journey. And we are here to offer the lessons everyone needs to learn, the guidance along the way, and the support for accomplishing what you are here to do.

We hope to make your acquaintance here, either through the purchase of our books or by joining this forum, and continuing your growth through involvement with others who are also pursuing their growth. You can begin your journey now, by studying this FREE Short Course in Personal Growth. It will give you a look ahead at what lies beyond the fog, at what you will eventually need to do with your life, and at how to undertake this journey with responsibility, deliberation, and equanimity. It does not need to be a rough journey. But it will be a journey!