(beingthere5) How 2 shop 4 a Counseller ?
A Short Course in Personal Growth 5. How to Shop for a Counselor
by
Stephen BE
If we do not know any counselors in your area (and chances are we do not), we would be unable to make a recommendation for one who is practicing Consciousness Counseling™. You would need to shop for a counselor who can do what you, as someone in pursuit of Higher Consciousness, would hope for. In the big picture, this would be someone who can help you learn, and constantly update, the emotional skills needed to integrate the lessons of consciousness.
Shopping for a counselor should be a deliberate process. Do not be impulsive. The desire to find someone quickly might make you subject to superficial charm. Nor should you worry about making a poor decision. Since you are not committed to any length of time, you can terminate services of a counselor that does not measure up. You are looking for someone with whom you can develop a unique and professional relationship. While this relationship might not be permanent, you should consider it a long-term and committed relationship. You want to enter it very deliberately, as well as exit it deliberately in the future.
A counselor does not have any real control over you. They have considerable influence in how you regard important decisions in your life, but they cannot make you do anything by force. You will always have choices about how you go about your life, unless you surrender this choice. Never surrender your responsibility for your choices, whether choosing a counselor, continuing the services of a counselor or terminating the service. A counselor who asks you to follow blindly is not serving your best interests, and you should exit their service. One who tells you how to behave is not teaching you how to claim self-responsibility, the core issue in all emotional work.
On the other hand, a good counselor will ask you to be deliberate and responsible for your choices. This means he or she may question and challenge how you are making choices. This can even appear confrontational or controlling. As long as he or she is working for you to claim self-responsibility, their challenge does not need to imply they want to control you. You are the one who must live with the consequences of your choices. If you cannot embrace the consequences of a choice as part of your path, then you have not made a responsible choice.
There are several steps you can begin with, to shop for a counselor. First, ask friends who have been in counseling for their recommendations, either in favor of someone or in warning against someone. Ask specific questions about why they feel the way they do. Anyone who has been in counseling long enough to work through an issue or two should be able to articulate their perspective. Look for high recommendations, or multiple favorable recommendations. A lukewarm recommendation is probably not someone who will serve you well.
Second, ask other resources for their recommendations about counselors. Family members are not usually the best resource for this information. You may ask family members for their recommendations, but often, family members may be serving their own agenda that is aroused by your questions. Any one of your doctors might know of a counselor whom they have heard does exceptional work with other patients of theirs. Occasionally, you might even get a first-hand report from a doctor about a counselor’s expertise. You may have a religious leader, spiritual guide, teacher, coach, or respected colleague that you can ask for assistance. Again, ask why they feel the way they do.
Third, you can shop for a counselor in much the same way as you would shop for a car or a house. The difference is that a good counselor will enable you to change everything in your life for the better (i.e. to be more aligned with your Personal Truth), and the results can last a lifetime. Look in the phone book and check the internet for counselors in your area. A counseling website may provide all the information you need to be able to exclude someone, but it should never be enough to make a conclusion.
A phone book ad does even less to inform you about a counselor, but at least you can get an idea of who is available in your area. You will find counselors listed in any of several headings, according to their discipline: Counselors (areas with numerous counselors will have this broken into specialties, such as Marriage, Individual, Children, Families, Religious, Substance Abuse, Crisis Intervention, Domestic Violence, etc.), Mental Health, Psychologists, Psychotherapists and Medical Doctors – Psychiatrists.
Counseling agencies often have counselors from a variety of disciplines, including any of those listed above, plus Social Workers, Clergy and Lay Counselors. You do not need to automatically exclude an agency, but do not let an agency assign you to the counselor of their choosing. You need to screen every potential counselor individually, even if they work within a large organization. This is your most important choice in the counseling process, and it should not be surrendered to anyone else.
In a previous article, 4. How Counseling Helps Develop Consciousness, we described the variety of backgrounds from which counselors may be trained. You may find a competent counselor in any of these disciplines. Even though each discipline has a tendency to treat in certain ways, there are individuals within each discipline who are cutting their own path. These are the counselors who will be most helpful. You do not need to settle for mediocrity, nor should you.
You should always interview a counselor before making a decision about using their services. Some counselors will offer a limited amount of time for a free interview, something like 15 to 30 minutes. But even if you must buy an hour of time from the counselor in order to interview them thoroughly, it will be worth it. Do not commit to working with any unknown counselor until after you have satisfied your questions about his or her practice.
Interview as many as it takes for you to find someone with whom you are willing to do your inner work. If your first choice, or any subsequent choice does not unfold as you would hope, confront this disappointment in therapy with your counselor before deciding to move to another counselor. Sometimes you must train a counselor to your expectations, but once informed, will rise to meet them. If the answers are unsatisfying, then look for another counselor. Sometimes the client is more sophisticated in the pursuit of Higher Consciousness than is the counselor, and no amount of disclosure from you can bridge this gap.
A counselor does not need to be working on Higher Consciousness in order to be helpful to you. If he or she is able to teach you about emotions; how to access them, how to clarify them, how to embrace them, how to use them effectively; this may be enough to begin your work on the emotional aspect. A counselor should show evidence in their own life of the ability to put their knowledge into use. A counselor who goes through multiple divorces, for example, probably is not one to teach about healthy relationships. Look for consistency between what they teach and how they conduct their life. Knowledge without skill is not very useful.
Once you decide with whom you will work, then commit to a minimum number of sessions, 10 for example. As the relationship grows between you and your counselor, you can extend your internal commitment to whatever length feels appropriate, even if it is indefinite. This allows you to measure this relationship in stages, rather than all at once. It is for your purpose only. Few counselors will demand a time commitment up front. When to terminate therapy is the subject of another discussion, and beyond the scope of this presentation.
There is one final prerequisite for effective counseling. To get the most from your inner work, you must commit to a clean and sober lifestyle. Daily or frequent use of alcohol or drugs will always interfere in your progress. And if you are addicted to this pattern, it will prevent any progress. The world is a very different place when you are sober, than when you are under the influence of a toxic substance. You see differently. You feel differently. And you behave differently. Consciousness built upon addiction is not true growth.
A good counselor will ask you about your alcohol and drug usage, have you examine it for its current truthfulness, and lead you to claim responsibility for what you truthfully want in your life. If you are addicted, then substance abuse treatment must precede consciousness work. We demanded a track record of this commitment before beginning consciousness work. The Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) adage of “ninety-in-ninety” helped to establish this track record. This meant ninety AA meetings in ninety days. Your counselor will help you look at the need for treatment and the options available to you.
We want to offer you these suggestions for questioning prospective counselors. These are the questions we would ask if we were interviewing a prospective counselor. These are also the questions, that when we were asked, usually indicated the presence of a very sincere and knowledgeable client. Our replies are also given in parentheses, to provide a baseline for measuring the answers of others.
Interview Questions:
1. What is your personal opinion about the purpose of counseling?
(To learn how to use emotions to access, update and claim Personal Truth, and to use this knowledge to make changes in your life that reflect this truth.)
2. What is your theoretical perspective about counseling?
(Humanistic: all issues have divine purpose and are present for personal growth into Higher Consciousness.)
3. Who do you believe needs counseling?
(Everyone who has never had any emotional training; this includes nearly everyone.)
4. What is your goal in counseling?
(We hope that you will learn how to use your emotions to connect to your Personal Truth, how to explore, update and claim your Personal Truth, how to enact your Personal Truth in the infinite choices you make in your life, and through the results of living in accordance to your Personal Truth, begin to realize the purpose of your life.)
5. Have you written any books or articles about counseling? Where could I obtain them?
(Note: Read anything they have written for greater clarity. If they have not written, ask why not? But do not make this an absolute prerequisite. Not all counselors are writers, and should not be expected to be so when they are not. But often a counselor has not written because they do not feel they have anything worthy to say. This would probably not be your best choice.)
6. How do you regard emotions in general?
(Emotions are an essential aspect of who we are, in the same vein as our other aspects of being: the physical, mental, and spiritual aspects; They are created mostly in our unconscious according to how we were imprinted in life, and every emotion gives us access to our Personal Truth.)
7. Do you believe emotions are a product of how we think, that “by thinking positive, we will create positive emotions”?
(Thinking is thinking, feeling is feeling. They are different, and they require different skills.)
8. Do you believe some emotions are bad, and need to be eliminated or reduced?
(All emotions have the potential of opening up more of our Personal Truth. Counseling, largely, is learning how to embrace and use those emotions that we regard as negative.)
9. What methods of counseling do you use?
(Psychodynamic and psychoeducational. We will talk. I will ask you questions about your experiences. You will struggle with describing your experience in meaningful ways, and I will guide you to uncover what you cannot yet see. Over time, you will begin to see your patterns of emotion and behavior, called psychodynamics, or dynamics for short. Eventually, you will recognize when these dynamics are rising up in reaction to certain events or experiences. Through this insight you will know what drives you. This allows you the opportunity to test it for its current veracity. You will update it according to your greater truth. When you enact this new dynamic consistently in the future, you will see your life reflecting your changes. In this way, you come to know yourself and make deliberate changes in who you are.)
10. How do you conduct a counseling session? Variations: Who talks? Do you want me to do all the talking? Do you teach things during counseling? What do you teach?
(See our response in #9, above.)
11. Do you adhere strictly to time limits?
(We can schedule any amount of time you wish. You will be charged for the amount of time scheduled, unless the session goes longer, then you will be charged for the amount of time actually used in session. Fees are based on an hourly rate of $130/hour, and totaled by tenths of an hour. For example, 1.5 hours would cost $195. This fee is for you as a single, or as a couple. The time you schedule is yours. If you schedule an hour from 1:00 PM to 2:00 PM, then you will get 60 minutes of time. If you need more time, your need will be considered along with the needs of the next client. Sometimes, we will be able to continue longer. Sometimes we will not.) Note: This is not the standard of practice. Many counselors work on a fifty-minute hour, and call an end to the session when that time expires.
12. How do you regard our relationship?
(We will be unequal partners in the mutual goal of your personal growth. I will engage fully with you, employing all of my education, training, skills, and collective experience. I will ask you to be fully willing to feel all that you feel and to deal with all that you feel. When I see you being less than fully willing, this will become the most present issue, and I will focus there. As long as you are feeling and dealing, we will go into every pertinent experience together, constantly looking for your greater truth and how to enact it in your life. Since we will be entirely focused on your issues, this creates an inherent imbalance in the vulnerability each of us experiences and exhibits. I will always honor and respect this inherent inequality.)
13. Do you prescribe medications?
(We are not medical doctors, and therefore we cannot prescribe medications. If we believe that medications would be beneficial to the progress of treatment, we refer the client to a physician who can evaluate and prescribe appropriate medication.)
14. How do you know when medications are necessary?
(We believe that medications are helpful and necessary for some people. It is through decades of experience in a variety of in-patient and outpatient facilities that we have learned when pronounced symptoms require medical intervention. We do everything possible to: 1. Respect the wishes of the client in regard to medications; 2. Avoid the use of medications unless absolutely necessary; 3. Refer a client to either the physician of their choosing or one whom we have developed a working relationship; and 4. Consult with the physician throughout the period of treatment. Our goal is always to help you embrace your experience, deal with the issues present, and learn the lessons embedded within. If medications can help this process, then they are seen as a useful tool. If they interfere in this process, then we will work with the prescribing physician toward a reduction or termination of pharmaceutical treatment.)
15. [If seeking a counselor for relationship issues] What is your perspective about marriage?
(Marriage is a [divine or perfect] vehicle for encountering your personal issues. The quality of the marriage is determined by how successful it is in helping you deal with those issues. We will explain the universal stages of romantic relationships, and teach you and your partner the skills to work with all marital issues. We will look at the hottest issues you face, and help both of you learn, grow and make conscious choices. It is not our highest goal to try to keep the relationship together regardless of cost to Personal Truth. A compromised relationship will serve no one, especially your children. We will help both of you uncover, update and enact your Personal Truth, and then help each of you to apply your truth to your relationship.)
16. Do you follow a specific theory about relationships?
(Yes. Harville Hendrix is the author of many books about Imago Relationship Therapy. We always recommend that couples read these books. The understanding of how relationships develop is useful when you are confronting the issues that arise in each stage of development.)
17. Do you use religious teachings to guide your advice?
(No. Religion is a personal choice. It is only one way in which humans express their spirituality. Spirituality is a fundamental part of being human, and we will address issues on this aspect as they arise.)
18. How much do you charge? Note: This varies widely according to location. It can be as high as $350/hour in major cities, or as low as $25-$30/hour in rural agencies. The local market establishes the rates.
(We charge $130/hour, prorated for tenths of an hour, for scheduled therapy. Our emergency rates and rates for other services vary. You will receive a complete list of rates when you register for service.)
19. Can you bill my insurance, or do you require payment at time of service? Note: many counseling offices will bill your insurance company on your behalf. If your company fails to pay, you would still be held liable for payment.
(We require payment at the time of service. We provide you with the paperwork needed to claim reimbursement from your insurance company. In this way, we alleviate the need for extensive office staff, and the subsequent rate hike.)
20. Do you offer any discounts or payment plans? Note: Many counseling offices will adjust their rates according to your income level. This is called a sliding-scale fee. Some offices will allow you to pay a set amount each month, regardless of the charges you incur. This allows you to defer payment, but not defer ultimate responsibility.
(No. Besides cash or check, we accept most credit cards for payment, allowing you to personally manage your credit and cash flow.)
21. How far ahead are you scheduling appointments?
(We can usually see you within two weeks, sometimes sooner. If it is an emergency, we can see you within two days, outside of normal office hours. There is a higher rate for emergency time, but if it is necessary, then we will find a way to see you.)
22. How can I get started?
(We can set an appointment for our first meeting. You will need to come in half-an-hour prior to that appointment to complete the necessary registrations forms and personal history. During our first session, we will get an idea of what you want and how to best serve you. Subsequent appointments will be set then.)
©2005 BEing There Enlightenment Systems, Inc.
by
Stephen BE
If we do not know any counselors in your area (and chances are we do not), we would be unable to make a recommendation for one who is practicing Consciousness Counseling™. You would need to shop for a counselor who can do what you, as someone in pursuit of Higher Consciousness, would hope for. In the big picture, this would be someone who can help you learn, and constantly update, the emotional skills needed to integrate the lessons of consciousness.
Shopping for a counselor should be a deliberate process. Do not be impulsive. The desire to find someone quickly might make you subject to superficial charm. Nor should you worry about making a poor decision. Since you are not committed to any length of time, you can terminate services of a counselor that does not measure up. You are looking for someone with whom you can develop a unique and professional relationship. While this relationship might not be permanent, you should consider it a long-term and committed relationship. You want to enter it very deliberately, as well as exit it deliberately in the future.
A counselor does not have any real control over you. They have considerable influence in how you regard important decisions in your life, but they cannot make you do anything by force. You will always have choices about how you go about your life, unless you surrender this choice. Never surrender your responsibility for your choices, whether choosing a counselor, continuing the services of a counselor or terminating the service. A counselor who asks you to follow blindly is not serving your best interests, and you should exit their service. One who tells you how to behave is not teaching you how to claim self-responsibility, the core issue in all emotional work.
On the other hand, a good counselor will ask you to be deliberate and responsible for your choices. This means he or she may question and challenge how you are making choices. This can even appear confrontational or controlling. As long as he or she is working for you to claim self-responsibility, their challenge does not need to imply they want to control you. You are the one who must live with the consequences of your choices. If you cannot embrace the consequences of a choice as part of your path, then you have not made a responsible choice.
There are several steps you can begin with, to shop for a counselor. First, ask friends who have been in counseling for their recommendations, either in favor of someone or in warning against someone. Ask specific questions about why they feel the way they do. Anyone who has been in counseling long enough to work through an issue or two should be able to articulate their perspective. Look for high recommendations, or multiple favorable recommendations. A lukewarm recommendation is probably not someone who will serve you well.
Second, ask other resources for their recommendations about counselors. Family members are not usually the best resource for this information. You may ask family members for their recommendations, but often, family members may be serving their own agenda that is aroused by your questions. Any one of your doctors might know of a counselor whom they have heard does exceptional work with other patients of theirs. Occasionally, you might even get a first-hand report from a doctor about a counselor’s expertise. You may have a religious leader, spiritual guide, teacher, coach, or respected colleague that you can ask for assistance. Again, ask why they feel the way they do.
Third, you can shop for a counselor in much the same way as you would shop for a car or a house. The difference is that a good counselor will enable you to change everything in your life for the better (i.e. to be more aligned with your Personal Truth), and the results can last a lifetime. Look in the phone book and check the internet for counselors in your area. A counseling website may provide all the information you need to be able to exclude someone, but it should never be enough to make a conclusion.
A phone book ad does even less to inform you about a counselor, but at least you can get an idea of who is available in your area. You will find counselors listed in any of several headings, according to their discipline: Counselors (areas with numerous counselors will have this broken into specialties, such as Marriage, Individual, Children, Families, Religious, Substance Abuse, Crisis Intervention, Domestic Violence, etc.), Mental Health, Psychologists, Psychotherapists and Medical Doctors – Psychiatrists.
Counseling agencies often have counselors from a variety of disciplines, including any of those listed above, plus Social Workers, Clergy and Lay Counselors. You do not need to automatically exclude an agency, but do not let an agency assign you to the counselor of their choosing. You need to screen every potential counselor individually, even if they work within a large organization. This is your most important choice in the counseling process, and it should not be surrendered to anyone else.
In a previous article, 4. How Counseling Helps Develop Consciousness, we described the variety of backgrounds from which counselors may be trained. You may find a competent counselor in any of these disciplines. Even though each discipline has a tendency to treat in certain ways, there are individuals within each discipline who are cutting their own path. These are the counselors who will be most helpful. You do not need to settle for mediocrity, nor should you.
You should always interview a counselor before making a decision about using their services. Some counselors will offer a limited amount of time for a free interview, something like 15 to 30 minutes. But even if you must buy an hour of time from the counselor in order to interview them thoroughly, it will be worth it. Do not commit to working with any unknown counselor until after you have satisfied your questions about his or her practice.
Interview as many as it takes for you to find someone with whom you are willing to do your inner work. If your first choice, or any subsequent choice does not unfold as you would hope, confront this disappointment in therapy with your counselor before deciding to move to another counselor. Sometimes you must train a counselor to your expectations, but once informed, will rise to meet them. If the answers are unsatisfying, then look for another counselor. Sometimes the client is more sophisticated in the pursuit of Higher Consciousness than is the counselor, and no amount of disclosure from you can bridge this gap.
A counselor does not need to be working on Higher Consciousness in order to be helpful to you. If he or she is able to teach you about emotions; how to access them, how to clarify them, how to embrace them, how to use them effectively; this may be enough to begin your work on the emotional aspect. A counselor should show evidence in their own life of the ability to put their knowledge into use. A counselor who goes through multiple divorces, for example, probably is not one to teach about healthy relationships. Look for consistency between what they teach and how they conduct their life. Knowledge without skill is not very useful.
Once you decide with whom you will work, then commit to a minimum number of sessions, 10 for example. As the relationship grows between you and your counselor, you can extend your internal commitment to whatever length feels appropriate, even if it is indefinite. This allows you to measure this relationship in stages, rather than all at once. It is for your purpose only. Few counselors will demand a time commitment up front. When to terminate therapy is the subject of another discussion, and beyond the scope of this presentation.
There is one final prerequisite for effective counseling. To get the most from your inner work, you must commit to a clean and sober lifestyle. Daily or frequent use of alcohol or drugs will always interfere in your progress. And if you are addicted to this pattern, it will prevent any progress. The world is a very different place when you are sober, than when you are under the influence of a toxic substance. You see differently. You feel differently. And you behave differently. Consciousness built upon addiction is not true growth.
A good counselor will ask you about your alcohol and drug usage, have you examine it for its current truthfulness, and lead you to claim responsibility for what you truthfully want in your life. If you are addicted, then substance abuse treatment must precede consciousness work. We demanded a track record of this commitment before beginning consciousness work. The Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) adage of “ninety-in-ninety” helped to establish this track record. This meant ninety AA meetings in ninety days. Your counselor will help you look at the need for treatment and the options available to you.
We want to offer you these suggestions for questioning prospective counselors. These are the questions we would ask if we were interviewing a prospective counselor. These are also the questions, that when we were asked, usually indicated the presence of a very sincere and knowledgeable client. Our replies are also given in parentheses, to provide a baseline for measuring the answers of others.
Interview Questions:
1. What is your personal opinion about the purpose of counseling?
(To learn how to use emotions to access, update and claim Personal Truth, and to use this knowledge to make changes in your life that reflect this truth.)
2. What is your theoretical perspective about counseling?
(Humanistic: all issues have divine purpose and are present for personal growth into Higher Consciousness.)
3. Who do you believe needs counseling?
(Everyone who has never had any emotional training; this includes nearly everyone.)
4. What is your goal in counseling?
(We hope that you will learn how to use your emotions to connect to your Personal Truth, how to explore, update and claim your Personal Truth, how to enact your Personal Truth in the infinite choices you make in your life, and through the results of living in accordance to your Personal Truth, begin to realize the purpose of your life.)
5. Have you written any books or articles about counseling? Where could I obtain them?
(Note: Read anything they have written for greater clarity. If they have not written, ask why not? But do not make this an absolute prerequisite. Not all counselors are writers, and should not be expected to be so when they are not. But often a counselor has not written because they do not feel they have anything worthy to say. This would probably not be your best choice.)
6. How do you regard emotions in general?
(Emotions are an essential aspect of who we are, in the same vein as our other aspects of being: the physical, mental, and spiritual aspects; They are created mostly in our unconscious according to how we were imprinted in life, and every emotion gives us access to our Personal Truth.)
7. Do you believe emotions are a product of how we think, that “by thinking positive, we will create positive emotions”?
(Thinking is thinking, feeling is feeling. They are different, and they require different skills.)
8. Do you believe some emotions are bad, and need to be eliminated or reduced?
(All emotions have the potential of opening up more of our Personal Truth. Counseling, largely, is learning how to embrace and use those emotions that we regard as negative.)
9. What methods of counseling do you use?
(Psychodynamic and psychoeducational. We will talk. I will ask you questions about your experiences. You will struggle with describing your experience in meaningful ways, and I will guide you to uncover what you cannot yet see. Over time, you will begin to see your patterns of emotion and behavior, called psychodynamics, or dynamics for short. Eventually, you will recognize when these dynamics are rising up in reaction to certain events or experiences. Through this insight you will know what drives you. This allows you the opportunity to test it for its current veracity. You will update it according to your greater truth. When you enact this new dynamic consistently in the future, you will see your life reflecting your changes. In this way, you come to know yourself and make deliberate changes in who you are.)
10. How do you conduct a counseling session? Variations: Who talks? Do you want me to do all the talking? Do you teach things during counseling? What do you teach?
(See our response in #9, above.)
11. Do you adhere strictly to time limits?
(We can schedule any amount of time you wish. You will be charged for the amount of time scheduled, unless the session goes longer, then you will be charged for the amount of time actually used in session. Fees are based on an hourly rate of $130/hour, and totaled by tenths of an hour. For example, 1.5 hours would cost $195. This fee is for you as a single, or as a couple. The time you schedule is yours. If you schedule an hour from 1:00 PM to 2:00 PM, then you will get 60 minutes of time. If you need more time, your need will be considered along with the needs of the next client. Sometimes, we will be able to continue longer. Sometimes we will not.) Note: This is not the standard of practice. Many counselors work on a fifty-minute hour, and call an end to the session when that time expires.
12. How do you regard our relationship?
(We will be unequal partners in the mutual goal of your personal growth. I will engage fully with you, employing all of my education, training, skills, and collective experience. I will ask you to be fully willing to feel all that you feel and to deal with all that you feel. When I see you being less than fully willing, this will become the most present issue, and I will focus there. As long as you are feeling and dealing, we will go into every pertinent experience together, constantly looking for your greater truth and how to enact it in your life. Since we will be entirely focused on your issues, this creates an inherent imbalance in the vulnerability each of us experiences and exhibits. I will always honor and respect this inherent inequality.)
13. Do you prescribe medications?
(We are not medical doctors, and therefore we cannot prescribe medications. If we believe that medications would be beneficial to the progress of treatment, we refer the client to a physician who can evaluate and prescribe appropriate medication.)
14. How do you know when medications are necessary?
(We believe that medications are helpful and necessary for some people. It is through decades of experience in a variety of in-patient and outpatient facilities that we have learned when pronounced symptoms require medical intervention. We do everything possible to: 1. Respect the wishes of the client in regard to medications; 2. Avoid the use of medications unless absolutely necessary; 3. Refer a client to either the physician of their choosing or one whom we have developed a working relationship; and 4. Consult with the physician throughout the period of treatment. Our goal is always to help you embrace your experience, deal with the issues present, and learn the lessons embedded within. If medications can help this process, then they are seen as a useful tool. If they interfere in this process, then we will work with the prescribing physician toward a reduction or termination of pharmaceutical treatment.)
15. [If seeking a counselor for relationship issues] What is your perspective about marriage?
(Marriage is a [divine or perfect] vehicle for encountering your personal issues. The quality of the marriage is determined by how successful it is in helping you deal with those issues. We will explain the universal stages of romantic relationships, and teach you and your partner the skills to work with all marital issues. We will look at the hottest issues you face, and help both of you learn, grow and make conscious choices. It is not our highest goal to try to keep the relationship together regardless of cost to Personal Truth. A compromised relationship will serve no one, especially your children. We will help both of you uncover, update and enact your Personal Truth, and then help each of you to apply your truth to your relationship.)
16. Do you follow a specific theory about relationships?
(Yes. Harville Hendrix is the author of many books about Imago Relationship Therapy. We always recommend that couples read these books. The understanding of how relationships develop is useful when you are confronting the issues that arise in each stage of development.)
17. Do you use religious teachings to guide your advice?
(No. Religion is a personal choice. It is only one way in which humans express their spirituality. Spirituality is a fundamental part of being human, and we will address issues on this aspect as they arise.)
18. How much do you charge? Note: This varies widely according to location. It can be as high as $350/hour in major cities, or as low as $25-$30/hour in rural agencies. The local market establishes the rates.
(We charge $130/hour, prorated for tenths of an hour, for scheduled therapy. Our emergency rates and rates for other services vary. You will receive a complete list of rates when you register for service.)
19. Can you bill my insurance, or do you require payment at time of service? Note: many counseling offices will bill your insurance company on your behalf. If your company fails to pay, you would still be held liable for payment.
(We require payment at the time of service. We provide you with the paperwork needed to claim reimbursement from your insurance company. In this way, we alleviate the need for extensive office staff, and the subsequent rate hike.)
20. Do you offer any discounts or payment plans? Note: Many counseling offices will adjust their rates according to your income level. This is called a sliding-scale fee. Some offices will allow you to pay a set amount each month, regardless of the charges you incur. This allows you to defer payment, but not defer ultimate responsibility.
(No. Besides cash or check, we accept most credit cards for payment, allowing you to personally manage your credit and cash flow.)
21. How far ahead are you scheduling appointments?
(We can usually see you within two weeks, sometimes sooner. If it is an emergency, we can see you within two days, outside of normal office hours. There is a higher rate for emergency time, but if it is necessary, then we will find a way to see you.)
22. How can I get started?
(We can set an appointment for our first meeting. You will need to come in half-an-hour prior to that appointment to complete the necessary registrations forms and personal history. During our first session, we will get an idea of what you want and how to best serve you. Subsequent appointments will be set then.)
©2005 BEing There Enlightenment Systems, Inc.
posted by Borrowed Wisdom at 5:17 AM
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